Oh God! I'm in love. This is happiness on a different level, probably exists somewhere in the ionosphere. I never expressed it but you understood and gave it back, and i felt nothing but magic. I see you and I just see you, making the world around motion blur. It’s a blind confidence that I have which drives me to any extent. I fall, i get up, i fall again and no matter how many times I fall, I get up again and the hope is not lost, the love is not lost. The unexplained possessiveness in your eyes and the random questions you ask is just another reason why I cant stay away from you. A bond stronger than a magnet, an emotion which attracts like poles as well. A journey of life, the love of life and my dear, I own you for life.
PS: never wrote on this topic before, so this is just a trial and nothing else. excuse if it sucks.
I feel like writing today and so here I’m. I guess I need not give an explanation each time. Just came back from work, yeah it’s 6:30 in the morning and I am supposed to work out before I sleep but who cares? The lazy side wins. I hardly work but my whole energy is drained out when I'm back home. I guess it’s more in the mind than the body and about the day so far, it’s just another day at office. It’s not a ‘colorful’ work place where you can refresh your eyes and mind if you walk around the floor, you know what I mean and I can’t write about my colleagues here because they don’t write anything about me. Ok! behind every successful man, there’s a woman and behind me is my sister who just convinced my lazy side. I jump.
Last night, my friends and I were chatting about few reality dance/singing shows on the TV hosting 8-10 yrs kids as judges, and looking at the attitude each kid displayed while judging was completely revolting. It’s like giving the power to rule without understanding and we all know the result. Kids blaming and abusing each other is categorically not a healthy way to conduct a show. I felt few shows lack the understanding of healthy competition and moreover we are dealing with kids here, who are still figuring out differences b/w right and wrong.
As a kid, I took part in many drawing/painting competitions and it’s not always that I stood first. In fact, my winning chances were as weak as 2/10 but I was never let down with the result nor I hated my drawings. End of the day, I felt happy looking at my thought on paper. I knew it was not the best yet I was happy. No judge criticized my paintings, they only corrected. I was never insulted, I was only encouraged. Talent doesn’t need recognition, it clearly stands out but why is that we find it difficult to identify the right talent?
Not sure wht’s wrong with me, but out of the blue I feel like a budda blaming the current scenario and cherishing the old memories of life, just like our grandparents do. Are these signs of aging? We never know, some 10-15 yr old guy might read my blog and think ‘what nonsense’. The more I think, the more I feel bad and I guess it’s better to stop thinking too much and write about the stuff which belongs to me instead of the social issues. Anyway, the fuel to this post is a feeling I got after looking at the end result of a birthday card I designed. Days back, my cousin had asked me to design a card for her son’s 8th b’day and I sent a soft copy of it after finishing. Today, when I saw the hard copy I realized nothing can beat the satisfaction we get, when we see our thought taking a shape. It need not be a BIG thing, but it can definitely make our day.
I read the top 10 resolutions of 2010 and was little surprised to see two entries in that priority list.
1. Spend more time with family and friends 2. Enjoy life more
Though this survey was conducted across America, i guess most of us here might also include these two in their lists. Though we are in a better position on a whole when compared to days earlier, thanks to the so called western culture but I feel somewhere down the lane, we are being driven into a system which looks flashy from outside but eventually takes the life out us. I need not think of any examples but I know for the fact how many people around me are working ‘hard’ without interest just because they are a part of the system. This includes me as well. It’s easy to say ‘ just quit and do what you want’ but again it’s a will issue. These walls are funny. First you hate them, then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized. we’ve seen people quitting jobs to pursue their own dreams; the lucky ones strike gold and the rest will eventually be a part of this system again.
I feel surprised to see these two entries in the priority list because the reason we work is to have a good life and spend quality time with family. It’s understandable if a daily wage labor has these kind of resolutions because even if he/she doesn't work for a day, feeding his/her family would be tough. On the other hand, we earn 5-6 digit salaries, have a decent place to live in yet all the quality time we find is only on weekends. I also understand this is not the case with everyone because there are people who love the job they do and are happy with the way things are or just happy with no job at all but on the other hand there are guys who are totally lost or silently adjusting to this fact. Just like the basic human needs- food, shelter and clothing..i guess family/friends bonding is equally a need in today’s world, what we call as work-life balance which i feel is completely lost in the name of corporate work cultures and brand values. Sometimes, when I see people boarding the office bus/cab, it looks like prisoners boarding the police bus at once…silently, one after the other with sad faces..unlike or college buses :P Professionalism eh?
Last month, i was posted on a project in a known good company where my job was to handle new hires and train them on the tools we use, and honestly when i looked at the IT policies of that company, it made me feel like i was in jail. Right click disabled on all PC’s, cannot change wallpaper, no access to notepad (forget MS word) , no email client, usb drives disabled, no access to external websites, etc. Nothing against the company though but I feel sorry for the employees. They cant expect us to look at the company’s wallpaper daily and work on a 800x600 resolution.
However, the bottom line again depends on the choice we make and for guys who are used to this system will eventually lose their flexibility and will fight against the word- change; and when that happens- we either get busy living or get busy dying. Reminds me of two characters- Brooks and Red from Shawshank Redemption.
It’s like a new book and when we open a new book, we feel like starting it neatly but at the end of it, it’s filled with doodles and a frustrated writing. This year is going to be no different, but what makes us happy is a little hope. We all know things do not change overnight, yet we celebrate the beginning of a new year hoping for that change. Amazing, isn’t it? If there was no calendar, how will we know when to start afresh? or we should celebrate every night hoping for a new dawn. Belief, one crazy feeling that drives us to any extent. The good part is that we actually make an attempt to change things or be different. New resolutions, promises, new schedules etc, all planned overnight. I’m not sure how this year is going to be but let’s see if I can maintain a decent handwriting through out my book.
Happy New Year 2010.