Before I sleep…

…random thoughts continue to hit my mind when i stare at a blank sheet of paper. many unexplained, unwritten, unspoken thoughts which may never see the light, but after all they  are my thoughts and i cherish each memory that brings a smile on my face.
Imagine a person who is just like your personal diary, he/she is not your sibling, partner or spouse but just a friend who knows the in and out of you and doesn’t judge you and loves you with full heart no matter how screwed up you are and listens to any topic under the sky…well, i guess friend is an understatement, but i got no word to describe the relation. A relation, i feel everyone should have apart from the social relations and commitments we maintain. A heart listening to a heart that speaks out and nothing else. It’s love, but not the love which you find in your partner, not the love which you find in your parents, not the love you find in your siblings but a love that you find in yourself. An emotion that makes you feel special, an unconditional bond to be more simple, but again, do such bonds exist? My heart says yes, but my mind doesn’t agree. Is it right to bond with a person on such an unconditional and emotional plane when you know he/she is not your partner, sibling or any social relation that we usually maintain? somehow, i feel marriage too is a conditional bond, where we work around and adjust to make things work.
On the other side, there is a bond which never breaks, a heart that can connect to a heart even after years of isolation, a heart which makes you feel young, happy and free. We may find a heart but do we really take time to bond or at least are we giving a chance? Well, should we take a chance considering the expectations or living by the norms of a society? I’m sure it’s not easy, or not what most of them can digest because we are already into the system. A system designed by external pressures and internal commitments.


Memory Lies In The Mind Of The Beholder

Everyone has bad habits, who doesn't? most of them go unnoticed. However, bad habits with poor memory is a worse combination I must say. One of my bad habits is to lie and there are many reasons why I do it. Usually, it's because i'm lazy or to avoid few discussions. This is one such scenario where i was trying to avoid a conversation which unfortunately didnt work out well...

It was around 3 AM and i was experimenting on some of my pics in photoshop while switching between windows of social networking and few others non-productive websites (feel free to stretch your imagination) and just then a friend in gtalk pings...

Friend: dont u sleep?
Me: na...editing pics, watching a movie, etc
Friend: hmmm.. whch movie
Me: the boy in striped pyjamas..
Friend: dint u already watch it? thot u did
Me: nah...
Friend: nywaz hav fun!
Me: when did we discuss this before?
Friend: about wot?
Me: the movie
Friend: nope v dint, i happend 2 read ur blog
Me: oh ok...

This is where I remember that i actually wrote about this movie in my previous post. I could have easily typed some freaking movie name like alpha dogs which was on my mind too but no clue why i ended up typing this one. Anyway, If I continue my habit with a poor memory, it's going to be very dangerous and the sad part is you can't even cover up. Moreover, the above scenario would have been different had i been chatting with a male friend.

So, my dear friend...when you ping guys at midnight, don't go into too much details. It's always good to ignore certain lines. Good for you, good for us. Peace